Yay TBEX! Go TBEX! We love you TBEX!
In case you didn’t know, one of the travel blogging industry’s biggest conferences, TBEX (Travel Blog Sexchange), hit Colorado yesterday, serving as liquid Viagra for repressed bloggers everywhere.
Yet aside from an unexpected spike in pregnancies this side of the Rocky Mountains, what else can the doom-laden followers of those in attendance expect except a fortnight of ubiquitous “10 things I learned at TBEX”, “why TBEX proved there is a God” and “Oh my Lawdy isn’t Dylan Lowe looking sexy-as-hell at TBEX” (wait, you didn’t think they existed?) style posts?
Well aside from being more alienated than an audience of Lady Gaga fans at a Nazi Youth convention, the short answer is not much. No. Conventions like TBEX (and others) serve principally to reinforce the business bonds of bloggers first and foremost. That much is already clear.
So why then, given such a bold manifesto, is this dowdy little travel blogger missing out on all the onanistic fun?
Not wanting to drop the better part of a grand (that’s a shit ton of contextual links right there) to fly out for four days of self-imposed hell, it’s also because I have a few other things (when I’m not throwing darts at my pin board of Gary Ardnt of course) I’d rather be doing instead.
Here’s yet another fucking list for your perusing pleasure.
Socialising With Other People
In the rare circumstance that I do actually have real-life friends, I’d rather be hanging out and learning what makes them tick in juxtaposition to hearing boring chat about to “how to run a giveaway” or “how to write better to engage and keep your readers”. Seriously, if I really wanted to “engage” and “keep you” I’d be doing more than attending a conference. Like constructing a Fritzl-esque dungeon in my basement for example.
How many distractions does one man need to get away from the task of ripping this oh-so-serious industry to shreds and being as deliberately provocative as possible? Attending a travel blogging convention would just take time away from my greater goal of fucking with everyone there.
Following It All on Twitter
Seeing as these conventions are all streamed live on Twitter by an army of people repeating what they’ve just heard someone else say, what point is there in me actually dropping money on airfare and being there? This way, following online and not in person, I won’t get distracted by just how much people have doctored their faces of themselves on their social media profiles either.
Watching England Crush Sweden in Euro 2012
I’ll probably get hundreds of chances to attend a travel blogging convention in my life (if the organisers invite me for free that is), what I won’t get is many opportunities to watch England’s fine strapping lads rise to Euro Championship football glory. Who said I was deluded?
Dreaming of Actual Travel
No disrespect to Colorado (or any other place a travel blogging convention happens to sully) but I’d rather be actually travelling than sitting in a room full of people convincing me as to why I should take them seriously. I mean really, when it comes to down to it, what have they got to offer that I can’t go and read in my own free time on a beach whilst having my toes sucked by a young Thai princess? Isn’t that the reason half of them live in Southeast Asia the better part of the year anyway?
So that’s it for my list of what else to do other than go to a travel blogging convention.
The major article take-aways? Basically I’m poor and have no friends.